Is your relationship failing or just growing?

There is a difference between a relationship that's painful because it's growing and a relationship that's painful because it needs to end.

If your relationship is in a growing phase, it can feel like you're not getting your needs met, like you're not sure if this is going to work long-term, you feel like you're doing all the work, and you wish you could fast forward (or rewind) to that place where you feel stable and secure. AND DESPITE ALL OF THIS, you still want to stay together.

You can't really tell whose fault it is that your needs aren't getting met, you wish it would work long-term, you know your partner is trying too, and you still have a good time together—even though all of this hard stuff is going on—because you have great chemistry, you feel safe being yourself together, and you make each other laugh.

If you don't want to break up but you're worried you might have to if things don't get easier, your relationship is in a growing phase. That's a relationship worth staying in.

A relationship that's painful because it needs to end is one that makes you feel worse instead of better, doesn't improve over time, makes you feel crazy when you know you're not, and everyone who loves you is worried about you. Relationships that are incompatible, immature, or abusive are not going to get better over time.

Relationships that are compatible but partners have attachment wounds, insecure behaviors, or bad habits CAN improve over time and this is exactly what I help people do in my relationship coaching program: Relationship Rebels.

A lot of great relationships break up because partners can't discern if their dysfunctional behaviors are coming from being incompatible or wounded. I help people clarify what’s happening and build secure attachment behaviors in relationships built on equity and compassion. 

We do this by identifying what your attachment triggers are, how your stress system responds to them, and what works for you specifically to process that stress. We assess your specific situation and focus on what exactly you need for your relationship to thrive.

Having a relationship expert with their focus entirely on your specific relationship is a game-changer. You'll be able to stop guessing whether or not your partner's behavior makes sense. You'll have someone to tell you whether or not your reactions are appropriate. You'll feel held instead of lost as you navigate growing pains in your relationship.

If you're really not sure if your relationship is growing or failing, we will assess that first. The most important determinant of a relationship's success is willingness. That's the hardest part and the willingness is there, coaching can get you the rest of the way.

Too many great couples break up during a growing phase because they think the discomfort they're experiencing means that they're not compatible anymore. The truth is that partners who want to stay together, need to grow together, and they need to be intentional about doing so. To make it through your growing phase without breaking up and come out on the other side stronger and more connected, book a sales call for Relationship Rebels. I’m ready to hold you.

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