The Problem with Separating Genders for Sex Ed
Client question: Do you separate boys and girls for your sex ed classes?
My answer: Nope!
I've been teaching sex ed in middle and high schools since 2011. And since I started, I've insisted that students of all genders be in the same classroom for their classes. Why’s that?
When I had my puberty class in 6th grade, the girls were separated from the boys and we learned entirely different material. Also it was taught by the school nurse, definitely not a sex ed professional. As soon as those classes were over. . .
Chaos.
The boys heard that girls bleed once a month but didn't get any information about why or for how long or how it was handled. They also learned we were supposed to have boobs by now. (I can't confirm this is actually what they learned but this is what they retained.)
The girls heard that boys would start to have crushes on us soon and they might start behaving differently by being mean or snapping our bra straps. We were supposed to forgive them and ignore them if they did this.
Rumors started flying immediately.
"Did you know girls bleed out of their privates all the time??"
"Did you know that if a boy is mean to you, it means he like likes you?"
"Why aren't you wearing a bra yet? You're supposed to have boobs."
"Did you see Joel got a boner during gym? That means he's gay!"
Honestly, it was a mess.
Because neither gender got the truth about the other one, we just used our imaginations to elaborate on what little information we did get and it resulted in a lot of people getting bullied based on misinformation.
So I keep the kids together. I cover periods and wet dreams. Breast development andspontaneous erections. Reproductive systems with penis & testes, vagina & ovaries, and even some in between. Everybody in the class learns about all the bodies.
Now, does this format make some of the kids uncomfortable?
Absolutely. It's awkward to learn about unfamiliar private parts that have been kept a secret up until now. I normalize the discomfort and offer body regulating tips throughout class.
Does teaching about all bodies like this cause some confusion and lead to more questions?
Yes, and I answer them.
Q: "Do boys get their period?" A: Not unless that boy has a uterus and a vagina. Boys with penises do not get periods.
Q: "Do girls have wet dreams?" A: Yes, sometimes, but they're usually less messy and therefore less noticeable.
Keeping all genders together in the same room for sex ed class removes mystery and promotes empathy.
To have the kind of sex education that removes mystery and promotes empathy for your child, book a sales call for 1:1 sex education lessons. We’ll hop on a call, you’ll tell me what your goals are for your child’s education, and I’ll design a 4-6 week curriculum to meet those goals. No bra strap snapping here.
