What To Tell Your Kids About Grooming
Protecting kids from online predators is not as simple as "don't talk to strangers on the Internet" anymore.
Truly, I wish it were. I'm teaching an online safety class to 6th graders this week and it's by far my least favorite class to work on because this topic is the ickiest.
And I know that you, my fellow millennial, grew up asking strangers a/s/l on AIM late into the night just like I did.
So why isn't it enough anymore telling kids not to talk to strangers? We did it and most of us turned out fine.
It's because the strangers on the Internet have changed so much and so have the kids.
When I was in middle school back in the hmmanahmaughs, going online to talk to strangers was something fun I did together with my real-life friends. And for the most part, the people we found on AIM really were other tweens and teens doing the same thing at their sleepovers.
In 2024, it's a post-pandemic world, and young people have spent the better part of the last 3 years living their entire lives online. Compound that with the rocketing popularity of online gaming and social media and the friends a tween or teen has online might be their closest friends.
And adult predators have never had it so easy. They have private, unfettered access to unlimited numbers of young people through social media, online games, and messaging apps like Snapchat and Kik. This privacy and access has made them bolder.
If your kid goes online (they all do) and uses any platform with a chat feature (most of them do), they are going to get DMs from strangers. Many of these will be harmless.
Some will not.
The very best defense you can give to your child against online predators is information.
So here's what you as a parent need to tell your kids about grooming as soon as they start spending time online, especially unsupervised:
–Online predators exist. A predator is an adult who builds relationships with young people by pretending to be someone else in order to have sexual interactions, whether online or in person.
–It's very easy for someone online to pretend to be someone else. They can get pictures off of the Internet and make a whole fake person to be your friend.
–They might send you a lot of messages, have the same hobbies as you, and ask you a lot of questions about your life.
–They might send you game credit or cash cards and pictures. They might be really nice and give you a lot of compliments and make you feel special.
–After you become friends, they might start asking you for things that make you feel uncomfortable like pictures of yourself, secrets about yourself, or sexual questions. You should never, ever send pictures of any kind to someone on the Internet.
–They might start telling you that you could get in trouble for your friendship with them, that you did something wrong, that people wouldn't believe you if you told someone about them. They might ask you to meet in real life. You should always tell me if this happens.
–These relationships can happen to anyone. If someone starts sending you messages like this or even if you develop a friendship with someone who doesn't make you feel uncomfortable until later, it is not your fault. The adults who do this are very smart.
–Not everyone online is a predator, there are a lot of kids like you online too. The problem is that there's no way to know for certain so you always need to be careful and come to me when you're unsure.
–You will not get in trouble for being honest with me. (Make sure this is true.)
This is a hard conversation to have as a parent. It is very awful that adults prey on kids. And truly, the best way to protect our kids is to prepare them with information.
If you want your kids, students, or colleagues to have this information but don't feel equipped to teach it yourself, that's okay! I can help you. Book a sales call to discuss how I can customize 1:1 or group classes or a training for you
